I was in my basement, which I have converted into a miniature lab/workbench area for the PC work I do for people (presumably far from the sticky paws of my children), and while sitting through a thorough reformatting/reinstallation procedure, I started reading through a stack of newspapers that I couldn't see to get rid of. I found an article in the October 26th, 2003 edition of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that I found rather encouraging.
It was a feature on Toni Morrison, ostensibly for the purpose of hyping her then-new book,
Love. I must disclose (somewhat shamefully) that I have never completed a Toni Morrison work, not even the audiobook (
Jazz) I borrowed from the library. I found her books difficult and cumbersome, and was unable to immerse myself in them. I'm surprised that I did not read them anyway, because generally I am such an book junkie that I even finish books that I could already tell 50 pages in were garbage. I mean, if I finished the stupendously bleepy
Beeperless Remote, then surely I could slog through a Nobel Laureate. I can't explain this one, I really can't. I've read most of Eric Jerome Dickey's books, and although not impressed with the first, continued to punish myself through a slew of pathetic follow-ups. Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised that I don't understand aspects of myself, and in any case, it's a digression. I read this article on her (a very lengthy one) and esteemed her much more than I had before I began. She is also an inspiration. She didn't get her first work published until she was 39, and by the time she was 65, she had accumulated nearly every literary distinction possible, including the Nobel Prize for Literature.
This is impressive because in this day and age and society, if you don't follow the proscribed route to success, you are deemed a failure. I went to college on a full academic scholarship and didn't graduate. I don't think I put together two good semesters in the whole 4 years I was there. Thus, I was considered a failure by most, including myself. I had a child out of wedlock, which is nothing new in the Black community, but I still was considered a failure by many in society, in my church, in my own family on both sides. And who cares if we have one of the highest OOW rates, I personally was disappointed in myself. I am now thirty three years old, and redefining myself, redeeming my wasted years and potential. I don't have to hang my head in shame at my past and be bound to its implication. Toni Morrison is evidence that a person's best can burst forth late in life (if you can consider 39 late). Yes, maybe I should have had a Ph.D by the time I was 26 and been a millionaire at age 30. Maybe I should'v been and done a lot of things, but what's past is passed. I'm here, in this reality, and I still have gifts and contributions to make. So thank you Toni. Perhaps I will join you in that exclusive Laureate club, because like you, I have no desire to write these stupid and shallow caricatures of Black love and relationships. My metu neter (divine writing) is going to be hard for people to grasp, hard for them to get into, put impossible for them to ignore or belittle. I have no interest in maintaining the status quo. I am not into writing gangster fairy tales and bourgeois melodramas that have no transcendent value. I have been writing in a secret book, in longhand, for many cycles of the moon. I am not going to rush it. I am not writing for fame and fortune. I could really care less. Whether 39, 59, or 99, when it is ready, it shall speak for itself.
PS> I will get your books read right away, Sister Toni.
