3 ... 2... 1... Liftoff

Actually its more like 'Letdown'. My tenure as an undergrad is drawing to a close, and I have mixed feelings about this. One the one hand, I am dying to be done with school so I can get back in the mix and do a lot of things that I just can't afford. The basement needs to be finished. I need new musical equipment. My kids need new clothes and braces and culture. I would like my oldest to play piano, my middle one to dance, and my baby boy looks like he'd make a fine drummer, judging by the way he beats up on the furniture around here. I'd like to take my wife somewhere nice for our 11th anniversary, which is coming up soon. So, although money can't buy you happiness, there are a few things it can do to enhance the lives of my family members. But on the other hand... I've got a sinking feeling that I can't describe. Perhaps I'm suffering from Senior's Malaise. Whatever it is, I feel like crap, nearly all the time. I'm still having lingering eye problems, and I am slacking my way toward graduation. For example, I'm 140 pages behind in my reading for my Religion and Philosophy course, with comparable numbers of lag in my other courses. This sucks. I've got to suck it up and focus. But I just don't feel like it anymore. I just want to sleep for a week. I've got 3 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day until I done that cap and gown. I should be happy and elated, yet I'm dissatisfied with just about every aspect of myself. Yeah, I think malaise does fit. I should stop blogging and catch up on my reading, but the reading invariably puts me to sleep. But I can't afford to sleep, cause I've got too much work to do. This is a struggle that goes nowhere. I'm spinning in futile circles, gaining no ground. I just have to weather this. I know I can't stay like this for too long.

This too, shall pass.

It has to.