Insomnia Sucks

I'm back. Haven't blogged in over a month, making the big push to finish my degree. I won't keep the world in suspense: I'm done. Got As in my final four classes to reach the magic number of 180 required to graduate. The end was, like many things in life, anticlimactic. I can't remember the order in which I took my finals, but I know the last one was in my Small Business Management course. It was 60 questions, and I got the hundred. I knew that even if I didn't answer a single question on the exam that I would still pass, so there was no tension at all. I just treated it like a routine act, not the culminating effort of a promise I made more than 10 years ago (to go back to school and get a degree). So when it was all said and done, there was no victory laps, no donuts in the school parking lots, no over amplified guitar solo with me setting my axe on fire. Just a quiet satisfied smile. I did it. I am now a college graduate. I am the only male in my family (on any branch I'm aware of) to have finished school. We seem to have underperformed academically, the men in my family. I'm glad to have broken that tendency. Hopefully my son will make it a tradition. I am not gonna sit here and complain about how hard it is to be a Black man in America. No, just do the thing, handle your bidness and let the people who were never going to do it anyway make excuses about why it never got done.

That being said, there's no time to rest on my laurels. I've got to keep on moving. I've got so many things I need to do that I can't afford to be patting myself on the back. I've got to decide whether to go corporate, or throw everything I have into my business and ride that wave wherever it takes me, even if that means crashing onto the shore. I'm leaning towards the latter, because I have been floating resumes since mid-August, and the perfect job has yet to present. I know it can take a while, but even though I can be a procrastinator sometimes, I'm not comfortable just twiddling my thumbs. Physics teaches that it is easier for a body to stay in motion than to start from a dead stop. So I must not stop, because entropy and inertia are a lethal combination. Or maybe I'm just impatient, neurotic and restless.

The reason this blog has such a strange title is because I haven't been a student for two full weeks, I still am keeping my 'burning the midnight oil' hours. I might need to see a doctor, because I keep ending up sitting around staring at the walls or reading or cleaning far too late into the night.