Oh, this child
What am I going to do with this handful? My mind is being stretched to its limits. I am confronted with situations I never considered, and I wonder whether I am handling them properly. I wonder if the situation is already lost. I wonder if I should bother doing anything. My eldest child was recently suspended for taking a pocketknife to school. Most of you can probably predict the progression of events, given that we are living in a post-Columbine era. She didn't attack anyone, didn't threaten anyone, but she was foolish enough to be caught with it, and that alone merits a suspension.
I am not upset with the school. I don't think my child got a raw deal. I think my child is very foolish, and like all the other fools out there (myself included), she should suffer the resultant consequences and learn from them. My bigger concern is with the foolishness itself, not the school's response. The bible says that "A youngster's heart is filled with foolishness, but discipline will drive it away." This is Proverbs 22:15, in case you are curious. Now, I believe in that verse. My mother believed in that versed. Unfortunately, though she tried mightily, she was unable to drive the foolishness out of me before I graduated high at 17. So spectacular was my resolve to do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted, that I immediately left home at the first opportunity and ACTED A FOOL. 15 years later, at age 32, I still recognize some foolish areas in my life, but have nonetheless made great strides. My question is, is my daughter going to repeat this cycle? She already has her father's relative indifference to discipline. She doesn't like spankings, but they don't seem to be much of a deterrent anymore. If you yell at her long enough she breaks down and cries pitifully, but the behaviors are not being positively altered. I don't want to go another 8 years of talking to one ear and watching my words pass out the other side with no drop in voltage. Is this what I put my mother through? I really am concerned about my child. I want her to go further, and faster than her old man. I made many bad choices. But I have stayed in my children's lives, in part to try and guide them to a better end. With all the drama my firstborn is putting my spouse and me through, I just am feeling discouraged.
One of the worst things you can say to a child is, "You're just like your no good daddy!" Hey, I can freely admit that for my of my life, I was no good. Were I to list all of my transgressions here, the internet would probably crash trying to store it and transmit it. However, thanks to God, I have come a great long way, and don't do the things I used to do. I would much rather my child, whom I am loving through tears and heartache, emulate her father who is trying to be a good person, rather than the old me, who, although she never directly met him, seems to be nonetheless alive and well in her genetic code.
I am not upset with the school. I don't think my child got a raw deal. I think my child is very foolish, and like all the other fools out there (myself included), she should suffer the resultant consequences and learn from them. My bigger concern is with the foolishness itself, not the school's response. The bible says that "A youngster's heart is filled with foolishness, but discipline will drive it away." This is Proverbs 22:15, in case you are curious. Now, I believe in that verse. My mother believed in that versed. Unfortunately, though she tried mightily, she was unable to drive the foolishness out of me before I graduated high at 17. So spectacular was my resolve to do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted, that I immediately left home at the first opportunity and ACTED A FOOL. 15 years later, at age 32, I still recognize some foolish areas in my life, but have nonetheless made great strides. My question is, is my daughter going to repeat this cycle? She already has her father's relative indifference to discipline. She doesn't like spankings, but they don't seem to be much of a deterrent anymore. If you yell at her long enough she breaks down and cries pitifully, but the behaviors are not being positively altered. I don't want to go another 8 years of talking to one ear and watching my words pass out the other side with no drop in voltage. Is this what I put my mother through? I really am concerned about my child. I want her to go further, and faster than her old man. I made many bad choices. But I have stayed in my children's lives, in part to try and guide them to a better end. With all the drama my firstborn is putting my spouse and me through, I just am feeling discouraged.
One of the worst things you can say to a child is, "You're just like your no good daddy!" Hey, I can freely admit that for my of my life, I was no good. Were I to list all of my transgressions here, the internet would probably crash trying to store it and transmit it. However, thanks to God, I have come a great long way, and don't do the things I used to do. I would much rather my child, whom I am loving through tears and heartache, emulate her father who is trying to be a good person, rather than the old me, who, although she never directly met him, seems to be nonetheless alive and well in her genetic code.
posted by Jahan at 10:38 PM
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